


Red

by Godspeed_Cowboy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Casteism | Hemophobia (Homestuck), Character Study, Gen, Guilt, Hemospectrum, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Introspection, Karkat Vantas-centric, POV Karkat Vantas, Paranoia, Poetic, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28017036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Godspeed_Cowboy/pseuds/Godspeed_Cowboy
Summary: And it’s easy.And then the Game happens.And suddenly it isn’t so easy anymore.
Relationships: Karkat Vantas & Other(s)
Kudos: 14





	Red

Red.

It’s a simple color, for you.

It’s the color of the Church of The “Mirthful Messiahs,” painted on the walls in holy scriptures, draped from the ceilings in tapestry, staining the windows. You’ve seen it before, Gamzee had taken pictures and sent them to you, and you thought they were beautiful, though you didn’t tell him as much. Part of you wanted to go, but a bigger part, one that was scared like a wiggler, had won, and you never did go, because what if somehow they found you out? Juggalos were weird that way, with their strange purple powers.

It’s the color of some of the plants here on Alternia. You’d grown some of your own before giving up on them after two months of watching them suffer slowly under your nonexistent greenthumb. But they were gorgeous while they lasted. And sometimes, if you stayed up late enough, you'd be able to catch glimpses of the forests a bit aways in the beginning rays of the sun, rust trunks and candy leaves. They were wonderful, but you never dared get close to them, for who knows what lurked within.

Everyone knows it’s the color of the Empire, proud and bold. The ship of the Condesce was colored as such, eye straining in its intensity, in it’s amount. It was meant to make a statement, and boy, did it speak volumes. And because their glorious leader liked it, everyone liked it. It was favored in fashion, in food, in decoration, advertisements and products, tools and toys, everything, anything.

Anything but a fellow troll that is.

Red. 

It’s a simple color, for you.

But, somehow, at the same time, it is not.

It’s color runs through your veins, your insides. The thought makes you sick, so you do not try to think of it often.

But you can’t really ignore it either.

It’s such a large roll in your life, this color, acting as the deciding factor for everything you do. Should you go out today? No, it was windy as fuck, and what if it blew you over hard enough so that you would scrape yourself and bleed, leave trails back to your hive? Should you go out to the town today? Yes, the drones will be coming through very soon, and sometimes the best place to hide is in plain sight, plus you know the paths the drones take and know how to get to and from town without being caught in their thermal sensors. What should you eat today? Well, you need to eat a lot of iron, because if you don’t you’re blood will turn darker and you’ll fall ill, and as much as you’d love to be rust, even if temporary, you don’t want to risk being too weak to run if you need to, so looks like you’d be making some sort of meat for dinner.

You have to play it safe, everyday, all the time. If you slip up once, even if small, it could spiral to your downfall, your death.

And so you play it careful.

You keep your head down and you move like a blue blood soldier, move on with life, do as you do, do what you do.

And it’s easy.

And then the Game happens.

And suddenly it isn’t so easy anymore.

It gets hard to hide your blood from them, especially from people like Terezi, who would be able to sniff you out if she stayed close long enough, and Equius, who could hurt you if he touched you and you know for a fact that one poke from him would make you bleed, and Gamzee, who would no doubt be sent into a fit of rage despite your status as Moirail if he saw even a drop, and Kanaya, who would definitely want to suck you bone dry at the sight of the cherry color, and Eriden and Feferi and Vriska and-

And wow you’re over thinking.

Point is, everyone would pounce on the chance to cull you, in one way or another, slow and fast, violent and merciful. 

Either way, culling is culling, and all’s fair game when there is a mutant involved, when there’s a bounty over your head, a prize to be collected, to be gained from your previous ruler herself.

You don’t like to think about that either, and you find that it’s even harder to ignore, considering you had begun to think of them as you’re friends, these highbloods and midbloods and lowbloods (who are still higher than you). 

It hurts, this conflict, because even in your most trusted friends’ presence, you still play it careful and you’re still reminded of who you are and what you mean in society.

And when they had called you leader, your chest ached. They did not know who they were putting in charge, who they were trusting. They did not know they were putting all their faith in a mistake.

But damn it, you’d do your best to make sure they won, to make sure you'd lead them to victory.

But it still hurt.

It always would.

And years later, after the Game, it still does, even if you did come out on top, even if you won.

Even if your hands are stained in the blood of your enemies and your friends.

Red.

It was once a simple color for you, before things changed.

And now, it is hell.

Appropriate, considering the color.

Ha. Haha.

Ha . . .

Hm . . .

Red.

It's a simple color.

But it’s not simple for you.

You don’t think it ever was.


End file.
